Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
