so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
These tits shall not be calmed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
