I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
