I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
