Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
