You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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