I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
