Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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