hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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