I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize