if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
