we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
