dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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