Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
