I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
