So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
and you said cock pushups were impossible
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
