dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize