Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
