I wish my penis had an off switch
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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