i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Also, beer. Big fan.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
