she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
