Porn is love you can see.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize