...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
