don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize