Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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