if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
