So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
My first STD was from a foam party
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
