she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
