I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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