$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
