Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
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