my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
She even gives head with a lisp.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
