Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sorry about my life...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
