last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
