He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
