Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
