I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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