I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
