Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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