no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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