Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
