Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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