the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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