I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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