I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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