Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
3pm strippers are depressing
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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