Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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