Where did you get a picture of my penis
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
