For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
