My friends, they love my intelligence
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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