Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
