I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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