hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
