well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
