I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
