Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
