Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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