this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
