I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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