i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
