He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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